Hello!

So...here's the deal...

I have a character that I have to kill in the first scene of the first chapter of my first trilogy book. There has to be a short conversation between him and his killer who, by the way, just so happens to also be his friend. In this conversation he has to somehow let his friend know that he knows who he is despite the ski mask and, to make my life easier, the reader can't know who it is. All the while I have to portray the character emotions correctly without thoroughly giving everything away...or making this scene extremely cliché which is what I ended up with when I tried to write the scene for the third time today.

* takes breath * Therefore, I need y'all's help. How can I write this scene while avoiding clichés, not letting the reader know who the killer is, and creating a compelling character conversation all in the midst of it?

Umm, could you maybe post a bit, cliche or not, so that I can get a bit of a feel for what you are trying to do? I do understand that problem, but I'm not sure how much of a help I can be . . .

Umm...no, I can't, sorry. I deleted all evidence that said scene ever existed...

Character needs killin', y'say? What kind of weapon do we want for this job? A rusty knife worked great for one of Melody's characters. I think everyone that dies in Alaidia gets shot... watcha thinkin'?

Okay, now that I've thoroughly disturbed everyone...

My first thought. What is the relationship between these two friends? What are their genders? Did the victim sense that it was coming? All of those factors will help you decide what kind of reaction make sense for them.

If a girl were betrayed suddenly, she'd probably be in panicked "How could you?" distress. A guy that knew what was coming might be more of a "die bravely" kind of stoic guilt approach. If the bond was deep, you might see a lot of sorrow from the victim for the killer who has turned on him.

Try envisioning a different scenario that involves the same emotions. What if these characters were sitting at a table and the killer told the victim he betrayed him in some way. How are the two going to react? Then take that knowledge and translate it to the killing scene.

My other suggestion? Keep it short. Only show what you need to. What kind of information do you need to get across in this scene? If all you need to establish is that a friend killed his friend - and his friend realized the killer's identity - then you could do that all in 3 lines a la...



And that's all you need. Impacting, short, but informative.

Hope that helped!

Yes, that was helpful, Philly, thank you. To answer some of your questions...

The weapon is a gun, they are two guys, and their relationship is brother-in-law.

Is this the me-person? If he is, then I can help.

* chuckles at the me-person * Haha, yeah...

Ah, figured. Since it was the same situation you described to me earlier.

Alright. So the first thing out of my mouth would be:

"What is one plus one?"

* laughs * Good plan.

I'm serious. That's what I'd say in real life.

And then I'd ask:

"What is important to you about what you are doing?"

The second question makes sense, but why one plus one?

One plus one is a question that short circuits the attacker's amygdala, forcing it to hand over his decision making faculties to the rest of his brain. Which is important if you want to reason with someone who is holding a gun to your face.

Interesting... * did not know that *

Fascinating...

It's a tactic I learned from Communication Catalyst. They don't only help businessmen... they also help high stakes negotiators (like with international conflicts and hostage situations).

*is going to have to remember that*

*will definitely get her hands on that book now* Carry on... I'll be thinking, Bethie.

Absolutely.

Fascinating tidbit, Sir Emeth! I'll have to remember that for if I ever get attacked or something...
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