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Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=326
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Author:  Ciela Rose [ January 23rd, 2010, 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Umm, I might have gotten it, but I'm not sure. This is my first essence map, I want to see what everyone thinks. I probably haven't hit it though; kind of ran out of steam halfway through. But anyway, I want to see if anyone thinks I'm close to it yet. This is my feline character by the way. That might be why it sounds cliched. :) I hope no one minds that I used a similar format to everyone elses.


Azura:
~Body . . . . {Eyes . . . [color. . . . . . . . . . . (Evening Sky)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Ocean at Night)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Star Sapphire)]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [Depth . . . . . . (Forever Friendship)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Night Sky)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Deep endless pool)]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .[Expression . . . . (A welcome home)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Sleeping embers)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (An open book)]}
. . . . . . . . . {Movement. . . [Grace . . . . . . . (Ice Dancer)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Wind through cedars)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Gentle Snowfall)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (An assassin’s stealth)]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .[Strength . . . (Sweep of a waterfall)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (A stalking tiger)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Hidden wildfire)]}
. . . . . . . . . . {Beauty. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (A pale rose)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Aurora Borealis)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Hidden treasure)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (A rare Snow Flower)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Cloud’s silver lining)}

~Spirit . . . . . . {Faith . . . . . . . . . . . . (A blue flame)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Victorious battle flag)}
. . . . . . . . . . .{Leadership . . . . . . . . (Steady rock)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (The Alpha wolf)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Protective Dragon mother)}
. . . . . . . . . . {Love . . . . . . . . . . . (A blooming rosebud)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (An immortal song)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Arrival of spring)}

Author:  Evening L. Aspen [ January 23rd, 2010, 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

It looks to me like you got it. :D Nice job! She sounds like a sweet kitty. ;)

I noticed a few syntax (or whatever you call it) errors, but that is no problem to fix. Basically, you need to "close your tags". Here's an example:

Ciela Rose wrote:
Azura:
~Body . . . . {Eyes . . . [color]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Evening Sky)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Ocean at Night)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Star Sapphire)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [Depth] . . . . . . (Forever Friendship)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Night Sky)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Deep endless pool)


Instead of putting the closing ] after color, it should really be after "Star Sapphire", which would make that set look something like this:

~Body . . . . {Eyes . . . [color. . . . . (Evening Sky)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Ocean at Night)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Star Sapphire)]


(Sorry, I messed up some of the spacing.)

That way, you're showing that "evening sky", "ocean at night" and "star sapphire" are all describing the color of Azura's eyes. There were a couple more of these mistakes, but they're really easy to fix. :D (Make sure you close the curly braces ({ }), too.)

I really liked your metaphors, especially the ones describing her eyes.

Another thing that I find helpful is to line up all of the different brackets in a column. For instance, I make sure all of the { are in a column, all of the [ are in a column and all of the ( are in a column. It helps to keep things organized and tidy-looking. It's also helpful to copy your map onto a spreadsheet, as that helps organize the metaphors and it's really easy to add new lines.

Good job! It seems like you're understanding it, though that doesn't mean much coming from me as I just learned essence mapping myself. Jay, please correct me if any of my ideas were wrong. :D

~ Alaethea

Author:  Ciela Rose [ January 23rd, 2010, 7:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Thanks Alaethea.
I went back and corrected that. Now that I think about it it makes more sense. :D

Author:  PrincessoftheKing [ January 24th, 2010, 11:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

It looks great! I really liked the "Cloud's silver lining" metaphor!
One thing I did notice is that you don't really need to say that an endless pool is deep. You can keep it that way if you want, but that was just one of my thoughts. :)

Author:  Arias Mimetes [ January 24th, 2010, 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Looks good :D

I think after reading a few of these, I'm starting to understand it a bit more. I might try to do one of these later.

Author:  Ciela Rose [ January 24th, 2010, 4:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Thanks guys.
Sapphira, I honestly didn't get it until I actually started doing it. Probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do, and it was really hard, but it worked! ;) And I'm still figureing it out. I feel like I'm missing something. . . could be my imagination. Hope so.

Now that I'm done with this one, I guess I'll start another. It's kind of addicting. :D

Author:  Lady Shanai-Irisis [ January 24th, 2010, 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Ciela Rose wrote:
Now that I'm done with this one, I guess I'll start another. It's kind of addicting. :D


Ciela, I quite agree. :D

Author:  Whythawye [ January 25th, 2010, 4:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

You did a very good job. I like it a lot. There is a lot of leeway in Essence.

Thank you everyone for helping her out! You all did a very good job!

Though I think 'deep endless pool' is fine, if that is what she wants. Think about this essence fragment:

2nd Level {
................Density [
.............................(Shallow, endless pool)
.............................(Lava erupting into a sea bed) ] }

Author:  PrincessoftheKing [ January 25th, 2010, 7:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Ciela, by "endless" did you mean "going on forever in one direction", or "endlessly deep"? I think I might have misunderstood you.

Author:  Ciela Rose [ January 25th, 2010, 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Umm, I think when I wrote it I meant endlessly deep. Sorry if I confused anyone :) . Everyone is such a big help on here, I definitely feel more confident about this whole essence thing.

Now I can't wait to start another. :D

Author:  Mama Raven Mimetes [ February 5th, 2010, 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Azura's Essence- Did I get it yet?

Ciela,
Looks great!
Here are a couple of my favorite lines:

Beauty of A rare Snow Flower or the Aurora Borealis
Strength as deep as a Hidden wildfire

and my very favorite:
Faith burning like A blue flame

OO! That's the good stuff!

~Raven

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