Hello.
Male Holy Worlders, I need your help.
Let’s say people just killed your young wife before your eyes, pursued you, cornered you, and overpowered you. Now you are on the ground, fighting for every breath, blood flowing out. You're dying.
Then your four-year-old daughter comes in and says, “Daddy, why are you lying on the floor? What’s wrong?” She has no one else, and now you have to tell her somehow that you will never see her again.

Would you, a young man, start crying?

Does that sound like a realistic reaction?

Well...I can speak for my dad here and honestly say, he would start crying. And, no, my dad does not cry at everything...but he has told me he would cry in situations similar to the formerly mentioned one (and, yes, I have asked him if we cry in situations similar to the formerly mentioned one. )

Well... Me (being the manly man that I am ) would not shed a tear.

I would probably get my hands on the grandest piece of rock I could find, then tie it to a large branch... Using it as a makeshift war-hammer, I would then beat the living daylights out of those men... (If they could be called that, because true men never unprovokedly attack an unarmed woman.)

Excuse me, Welt, but you're already lying on the floor dying. I'm not asking about the battle part; let's just say that somehow, they overpowered you.

I am a man, and men do what men do. And men kill men who kill other people! (lol)


but really:
I wouldn't cry. Because it takes time for the shock to set in. For a man to process that takes hours/days/weeks/years/a life time.

*nods * My Daddy would be the same way, Welt. He would not cry then. Maybe somewhere later down the road. But not when they're on the spot. And not with a child involved. The need to protect the child from the atrocity of such knowledge would push aside all those emotions. He'd have one thought. "My wife is gone; I have to protect my child". All emotion and energy would go into the child. Into protecting her from seeing him weak. He is her protection. Her mother has been ripped from her. She needs to feel safe and protected.

My Daddy would feel tremendous emotion, but he would not cry. And it would take a while for that to sink in. Eventually the tears would come. But only when it would be "safe" to indulge in that kind of relief. And only after reality hit home.

From a medical standpoint too, you'd have so much adrenaline pumping through your system, you probably would be unable to cry. Not at that point.

I told myself I was not going to get involved with this thread... it was a guy thread. Somehow.... I broke my promise to myself.

Really, it would depend upon the man, and so you have to figure that out yourself. What kind of a man do you want in the story? A guy in touch with his feelings, or a tougher kind of guy?

In general, though, I would say that there are probably more men who would not cry.

-Robert

I know some guys who would definitely cry right then. However, as has already been mentioned, I probably wouldn't cry at that moment. A few hours later, probably. But not right then.

Okay, guys, let me give you some more detail. Just to make things more complicated.

The man who just defeated you in a duel is not the same man who shot your wife in the back (though he was there when it happened). And this man appears slightly reluctant, but feels duty-bound to kill you. (I know that doesn’t excuse him.)
And, the event that resulted in these murders is something that you have been struggling for months to prevent, but have been completely frustrated in all your efforts. You have had a sense of impending doom for weeks, which you valiantly hid from your daughter. You were in the middle of trying to lead them to safety, and, when your wife was shot, you had to run and hide your daughter from them before going out to fight.

Now, please don’t try to say, “Well I wouldn’t have let all that happen.” Take me at my word; I’m the author here.
Do these details change anything?

I agree with Inesdar.
What I would tell my daughter would depend on my situation. If there were places to hide, I would tell her to hide; if there weren't places to hide nearby, I would tell her to run and then hide; if there was no place to hide and the men would inevitably capture/kill my daughter I would try to keep her behind me and then die protecting her.

Okay, okay...In the situation I’m picturing, the killers have left, and you consider it safe, now. But thanks for the point about trying to protect her.

By the way, (maybe you knew this) I didn’t mean teenage-girl style crying, where you completely fall apart, splattering tears and sobs all over the place. I don’t think any man would dissolve into self-absorbed grief at a moment like that.

I suspect Aemi wants her guy to start crying, cruel authoress that she is.

I feel like we need an entire "guys crying" thread. The posts that would go in that thread are scattered all over the place, though. . . Maybe an "opposite sex emotions" thread in the fireside to share excerpts we have of characters of our opposite sex experiencing emotion to see how close we got it.

No, really! I do want to know, and I'm planning to rewrite the scene if it proves unrealistic. Just giving you details. I don't want guys to read the scene and say "Oh, what a sissy." Keep it coming, men!

Some men cry. Some men don't. Some men can help it. Some men won't. Some men can fight it, and some can't.

It depends on the amount of time involved. Is he lying next to dead on the floor when his daughter comes in? Because here's how I'd handle it if I could.
Daughter enters. Asks question. Daddy's body is broken and his mind is going. Whether he is crying or not depends on his physical and psychological build, not his manliness. Daddy explains, "Daddy's dying, because he fought to the end. Daddy's soul is leaving, because he set his heart on something outside himself. yada_yaka-blah-blah-the_rest-is-poetry-for_you-to_write_yourself..."

The crying is likely to occur as a bodily reaction to stress, which he probably won't be able to resist because he's practically dead already.

That makes sense. Thanks, Reiyen.
But I'm still curious...could more men come over here?

I'm not really sure.

Care to expound, Varon?

I guess he would be under a lot of stress! (Not being able to breathe is very stressful.)

I am with Inesdar on this one. I think, given the emotional situation alone, I would definitely cry, although with the physical tacked on, I don't think so.

eru

Okay, guys, I posted this scene in the Fireside. Now that it's in context, tell me what you think. Please?

It's kinda scary to see so many HWers talking as if they actually had daughters. (and I know some of them do, but others... )

I believe I would burst into tears and kill anything I could; alive or not. I would kill a rock if I had to: just to kill something to vent my anger. The adrenaline would be overpowering though...

Thank you guys so much for your help! It gave me a better grasp on what's going on in a man's mind in a situation like this.

I just meandered over here looking for things to edit, and found a lot of useful information. Thanks, everybody!


I love this idea, Kathrine. Did you ever start this thread? I have a thing or two I could post on it...