So, I'm pretty new at essence making, and I made this a while ago and posted it in my "newbies: the essence of essence" thread, but I figured I'd post it here and attempt to get an avatar (or a picture since this is of a character) from White Raven. So, here's my FirstX Map (I think it's properly formatted) and it only is in the first "stage." Please give any feedback that you have!

Victoria:

Body:
 Eyes:
  Color: is as green as an emerald sea.
  Depth: waver in fear, fade in struggle, and glow with excitement and pleasure.
  Sparkle: like the crest of the waves on the ocean.
 Smile:
  Dimples: one on her left cheek plays with the symmetry of her face.
  Color: pink as bubblegum
  Motion:when afraid, it hardens into an unbreakable line, when joyous, they curve merrily and mischievously, and once upset, they drag into an arch of disappointment.
 Hair:
  Color: as beautiful as the dirty sand on the beach
  Up: curving and twisting in the wind like a flag on a pole
  Down: straight as sticks, but flowing like a river
  Motion: playful like the wind
 Face: ever-changing like the sea: soft at calm, but also hard and confused.
 Stature:
  Normal: tall and strong, but wavering, like the Leaning Tower of Piza
  Afraid: cowering low and unsure like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
  Angered: Towering like a fire column shooting in the air
  Pleased: relaxed and playful like a lion cub.
 Motion:
  Grace: moves with brilliant coordination like a ballerina waltzing around the stage.
  Strength: shows strong and reliable like a roman pillar
  Speed: running with the wind.

Very nicely done, I like the 'Roman pillar' metaphor. My favorite was 'playful like the wind'.

Love your metaphors, Captain Nemo.
The only advice I'd give is to go ahead and let your similes become metaphors.
Example:
"as beautiful as dirty sand on the beach" would become "dirty sand on the beach"
But that's just a suggestion, I think your map is fine either way. You did a good job.

A good one Captain Nemo!
I like the name Victoria.

My favorite parts:

Body:
 Eyes:
  Depth: waver in fear, fade in struggle
  Sparkle: like the crest of the waves on the ocean.
 Smile:
  Dimples: one on her left cheek plays with the symmetry of her face.
 Hair:
  Color: as beautiful as the dirty sand on the beach
  Up: curving and twisting in the wind like a flag on a pole
  Down: straight as sticks, but flowing like a river
  Motion: playful like the wind
 Face: ever-changing like the sea: soft at calm, but also hard and confused.
 Stature:
  Normal: tall and strong, but wavering, like the Leaning Tower of Piza
  Afraid: cowering low and unsure like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
  Pleased: relaxed and playful like a lion cub.
 Motion:
  Speed: running with the wind.

My especially favorite parts:

Body:
 Hair:
  Color: as beautiful as the dirty sand on the beach
  Up: curving and twisting in the wind like a flag on a pole
  Down: straight as sticks, but flowing like a river
  Motion: playful like the wind
 Face: ever-changing like the sea: soft at calm, but also hard and confused.
 Stature:
  Afraid: cowering low and unsure like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
  Pleased: relaxed and playful like a lion cub.
 Motion:
  Speed: running with the wind.

My favorite of all:

 Stature:
  Afraid: cowering low and unsure like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

My favorite metaphore without regard to its application:

as beautiful as the dirty sand on the beach


I do not really see how that example would work that way. I suppose it would work as:

 Hair:
  Color:
Beauty: the dirty sand on the beach

Is there another example you could give?
I was thinking myself that it was neat the way the style was more descriptive, as it was free, for example, to compare things, like this part:

 Hair:
  Down: straight as sticks, but flowing like a river
(This was quite interesting to me.)

But in this part it seems that it was not supposed to be an essence map:

 Smile:
  Motion:when afraid, it hardens into an unbreakable line, when joyous, they curve merrily and mischievously, and once upset, they drag into an arch of disappointment.

It should probably be changed to description like so:

Her smile, when afraid, hardens into an unbreakable line, when joyous, it curves merrily and mischievously, and once upset, it drags into an arch of disappointment.

What do you think?

What do you think Captain Nemo?

Thanks Tsahraf! I appreciate it.

I think it's a neat way to look at it, but after working with Essence Maps a bit more, I figured out that it's goal is to not have verbs, but to be as concise as possible in order to capture the essence, the very being, of what you are describing. So, not quite action, but more abstract thoughts come into play here. That's what I think.