I wanted to get y'all's take on recurring themes, elements, in famous romances. Please, let's not talk about Twilight. I'm talking about stories that have obviously touched something in the hearts of the readers. E.g, Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, Beauty and the Beast......? What is it about them that makes us connect? Do we see something from our lives reflected in them? Something we want to have in our lives? Your thoughts?
I have a couple thoughts but I want to wait to see what y'all come up with.

And no, I'm not from the South, even though I just used "y'all" twice in this post...

*chews on this*

I'll get back to you on this. =) I have a few ideas, but...got to develop them a little bit more

eruheran

Same here! I have thoughts in my mind but am having problems putting it down in words. Will try to soon though!

Okay! Looking forward to hear your thoughts!

Hm... *ponders* This is a good question! I think the draw has a lot to do with people needing to be loved. "We love because God first loved us". So when we read a good clean romance, you feel good because you know that two people are being loved.

I'll probably think of more to expand on, but I'll just post that for now.

I always find elements of Romance in romances, and that is what draws me to them. A good romance points to the Romance between Jesus Christ and His Bride, and that is my goal when I write romance (yes, I'm one of those guys that does that ). Any romance that glorifies the desires of the people involved, though, turns me off...

As to your question; yes, romance is something that humans want in their lives. I think that a well-written romance can really appeal to people for its reality.

(thus end my discombobulated and confused thoughts)

eruheran

Could you go more in depth? "A good romance points to the Romance between Jesus Christ and His Bride..." How so?
"... a well-written romance can really appeal to people for its reality."
Again, how so? What are some examples? (either of real books/stories or just made-up scenarios) What are some specifics found in books that people tend to really relate to? I.e., when the girl/boy in the romance is perfect, or flawed? Clueless? Withdrawn? ....?

OK, sorry I had to rush off and I didn't have time to type as full of a reply as I'd have liked. I've gotta run now too, so I'll get back to you on this

eru

*awaits Eruheran's response *

Any more comments? C'mon, I know you guys have lots of good ideas.

Ok, some thoughts here:

Man's primary purpose it to love God and enjoy Him forever.

"Romance" {love between a man & a woman} should mirror or reflect the true love relationship we will have with God in eternity - the love for God for which we were created.

Because love of another being is a reflection of our purpose to love God, it begins to satisfy and fulfill and delight us. This satisfaction and delight {found ultimately in God's love and presence, and to a lesser extent} in another human's presence, naturally makes "true love" desirable and lovely.

In short, marriage is an institution ordained by God for our delight. It delights us because it begins to fulfill our ultimate purpose. That purpose is to love God.

So why do we love those romance stories? A few reasons, I think. First, they stir our hearts to want a love relationship with another human, which will be ultimately unsatisfying {to some extent}, but that brings a measure of earthly happiness. Second, they awaken a desire for a deeper love found only in God.

That is to say, a very good, pure, lovely romance will fill us with a happiness that makes us realize that true happiness lies in God alone.

I'm not sure how coherent that was, but I hope it helps!

~ Dawn

*Nods.* Beautiful post, Dawn. You said it so well and made perfect sense!

Aw, thanks! It took me a few drafts to get it anywhere near coherent, though . And any true insights are all from Him.

~ Dawn

That was lovely and dead on, Dawn. Thank you for those pure sentiments, which were very theologically sound, by the way.

Oh thank goodness! I was a little worried about mixing my opinions with biblical truths ... but I guess God led me to say the right things!

He certainly did. I, for one, was very impressed. And not just anything impresses me.

Important elements of a "good" romance.

This has already been touched on-"good" romance must be "true" romance.

What our culture foolishly calls "love" is actually "infatuation". It's literally a bio-chemical reaction in our bodies.

True love, what the Bible calls love, is different. Infatuation is a feeling-love is an action, and a choice.

Lewis describes it this way. There is agape-unconditional love. There is the second love-mental attachment. And finally, there is physical love (infatuation?).

In order to be valid, true forms of love, the second and third kinds must have come AFTER the first love.

So, romances based on mental/emotional attachment or physical attraction are starting off wrong-doubtless they will end wrong.

Now, on a slightly less abstracted level-my opinions.

Courtship is important. A women must be courted-that is how a romance ought to start. Courtship must always be initiated by the man, with the consent of the woman's father (when his consent is relevant-dead fathers don't really matter). Obviously, a man should never court a woman who doesn't like him in any sense-except in exceptional circumstances.

Women shouldn't lead men on in courtship...if the man is errs a bit to the assuming side, she might actually do well to make things challenging for him. Likewise, the parents should never make it easy for their children, although they should offer wisdom and encouragement. But people old enough to be courting need to learn some things by experience.

If something goes wrong, the relevant parties should always try to save the courtship, unless this would be un-Biblical.

The best "wholesome" romances vary between having a gentlemanly man, or a man who is learning to be gentlemanly and honorable but isn't very good at it yet. Likewise, they should contain either a very lady-like woman, or a woman struggling to become lady-like. In fact, redemptive stories (about people being sanctified by Christ, of course) are much better than stories about nearly perfect people.

Again, those are opinions. Some are ethical opinions, and some are opinions about good taste. I won't try to force them on you-unless I'm someday the father of a woman that you someday decide to court.

XD Ha ha, love your ending to that post. I loved what you said, the only question I would ask is, what about Ruth? (in reference to where you said the man should be the one that initiates the courtship)
So what's your take on the story of Ruth?

*strolls in*

I think the element of true romance is exactly everything that has been said here. I think true love is about how they treat one another, Who the foundation of their love is, and where it spurs from.

Also, there is love and then there is obsession. If you love somebody it means you care about them, if they're sad, how they are feeling. If you obsess over somebody it means you're idolizing them...look to the Bible for definitions.

Another attribute of true love is how the boy treats the girl and vice versa. Love is respectful and, naturally, if you love somebody you will also respect them. I would have a hard time believing a boy loved a girl if he hit her when they got in a fight. Of course, that is something obvious. If you tease, taunt, talk behind their back, are mean or physically abusive than you aren't showing love.

The last attribute I wanted to mention - and the most important - is the foundation of true love. The foundation of true love is God's love. If you don't love God, don't know God's love, or don't believe in God you shan't know or be able to differentiate between true love and just...meh.

So I conclude, the three elements of romance; care, respect, and God. This is what I write my romance around in my books and it's proved rather affective...

That would be my two cents that is virtually just repeating already said statements... *strolls out*

Bethany Faith

There are always exceptions to rules of ethics and taste. Where we don't have specific Biblical guidance, our rules aren't final.

I agree with what Neil had said on infatuation. Nowadays people mistake infatuation for love and throw that word around casually. Since that's such a broad subject, and I can quote a good book on it, so I'll make another thread for that.

Anyhoo, I think a good romance it build on a common love, God for us Christians, a willing partnership, and obedience to the Lord.

I won't really go on since I agree with a lot that's been said, but as a woman myself, these thoughts aren't uncommon when I'm in a few years I'll be of typical marriageable age.

~Calen

I think that that the very most important thing in romance is self sacrifice. Putting the other person before yourself, not only in big things but in little things. Infatuation is when you put yourself first, love is when you put the other person first, and today we live in a world that encourages people to be selfish and think only of themselves. Is it any wonder then that there is so much infatuation?

Anything that would come in between the love, death, difference in race, other people etcetera, makes the relationship seem more valuable, for something to pass through trials. And that makes it more intresting!