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| Gavin https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=2191 |
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| Author: | Bethany Faith [ February 11th, 2011, 11:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Gavin |
Hey, so this is the last MC I'm gonna post for my book...the one that doesn't have a name yet. Anyways, he's annoying and narcissistic, but he adds good "comedy relief" when I throw him in with the two serious MC's. So I just thought I'd write a small little Thingy about him...and... Here it is: ----- My name is Gavin and I am the son of the chief of the tribe of Realta and I am 17 years of age. One day I am to take over his position of chief and I will rule Realta. Of course, I must first do many things. Beginning with my first "flawless battle" as we call them in Realta. This is a time when a young soldier goes into battle and does not suffer any serious injuries. These are extremely hard to accomplish, but I will someday, for it is my destiny. Another thing I must do is kill my first mountain lion. In this ceremony me, my father, and some of the strongest teenage soldiers we have go into the mountains in search for a great mountain lion. When we find him I am to shoot him with a bow...admittedly I am not the best archer, I find myself to be more handy with a sword. Never the less I shall hit that mountain lion, I have been training for it my whole life. When I was born my parents were overjoyed, at the time they had one eight year old girl, but they were in desperate need for a male heir. They said when my brith was announced the whole town rejoiced and feasted for a week! My older sister married to a local peasant when I was 10. I do not understand how she can marry a peasant a scholar none the less. But we weren't talking about her we were talking about me. As I was saying my sister married when I was ten. I remember this because I was ten when I began my battle training. Starting with sword-fighting, hand-to-hand combat, archery, and dagger throwing, last. I grew quiet fond of these things and I have a dream as to putting then to use. My mother told me of the uncharted territory, how no man dares to go past the mountains, I hope to one day charge into those territories and conquer them for Realta. But that is a long time away, let's speak of present events. Such as my first battle to be next week! It is customary that 16 year old soldiers go into their first battle, though when I was 16 it was a time of peace. So now at 17 I shall go into my first battle. And fight flawlessly. ----- Bethany Faith |
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| Author: | Lady Elanor [ February 12th, 2011, 5:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
Nicely written Beth!  Two points Quote: This is a time when I young soldier goes into battle Is this supposed to say a young soldier? Also, Quote: But that us a long time away, let's speak of present events. I think thats supposed to say 'is'? Hehe, only tiny things. Anyhow I really like it, he sounds like a nice guy! |
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| Author: | Bethany Faith [ February 12th, 2011, 5:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
Elanor wrote: Nicely written Beth! Two points Quote: This is a time when I young soldier goes into battle Is this supposed to say a young soldier? Also, Quote: But that us a long time away, let's speak of present events. I think thats supposed to say 'is'? Hehe, only tiny things. Anyhow I really like it, it sounds like a nice guy! Oh, yah. Thanks. I missed those. He's actually extremely selfish, but I'm bad at protesting that when I'm writing in first person. On the bright side of things, he is a nice guy by the end of the book. 
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| Author: | Lady Elanor [ February 12th, 2011, 5:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
Oh, I like guys who turn out nice in the end!
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ February 12th, 2011, 5:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
Those are my favorite kind of characters! |
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| Author: | Kiev Shawn [ February 12th, 2011, 7:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
Airianna Valenshia wrote: Those are my favorite kind of characters! Me too. Bethany Faith wrote: So now at 17 I shall go into my first battle. And fight flawlessly. Okay, for me, that sealed the deal. This character will be very entertaining.
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| Author: | Bethany Faith [ February 14th, 2011, 6:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
On a quick note; I'm posting the chapters as I write them on this thread: viewtopic.php?f=19&t=2198 I'm calling the book "Beyond The Moutains" right now, but that's probably going to be a temporary name once I think of a more interesting one.
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| Author: | Evening L. Aspen [ February 18th, 2011, 11:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
This guy sounds like an interesting fellow. I found this line especially pompous and comical: Gavin wrote: My older sister married to a local peasant when I was 10. I do not understand how she can marry a peasant a scholar none the less. But we weren't talking about her we were talking about me.  He definitely sounds royal. It sounds like you've done a good job giving him faults and making him realistic; perfect, selfless royalty is just not realistic!  Keep up the good work. *goes to read other threads on Beth's characters*
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| Author: | Bethany Faith [ February 19th, 2011, 7:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Gavin |
Evening L. Aspen wrote: This guy sounds like an interesting fellow. I found this line especially pompous and comical: Gavin wrote: My older sister married to a local peasant when I was 10. I do not understand how she can marry a peasant a scholar none the less. But we weren't talking about her we were talking about me. He definitely sounds royal. It sounds like you've done a good job giving him faults and making him realistic; perfect, selfless royalty is just not realistic! Keep up the good work. *goes to read other threads on Beth's characters*Yup, Gavin is the most imperfect royal character I've ever created, he's super fun to play around with Thanks. |
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