All right, here we go. Many of you have helped me with various aspects of this tangled backstory before - there have been assorted threads on it scattered around the forums - but here it is, complete, in synopsis form. This is the backstory for Alaidia, aka "Peter's Angel."
First I will paste a summary of the main happenings from Peter's POV. (If I write a prologue, it'll be from his POV.) Then I will add a few explanatory details. What I so desperately need from y'all is an opinion on a couple of things...
First, does the backstory make sense? Is is logically realistic?
Second, does this backstory sound interesting? Cliche? Boring?
Lastly, how much of this backstory would you want to see witnessed "live" in a prologue? Would you rather start-up in modern day and receive all this information gradually?
Thanks so much for the help, everyone!
***
It was the inaugural party – their inaugural party. It had been one week since untimely deaths had yanked Peter’s father from a quiet life with the populace to the throne of Reval, a fief, and Alaidia, the motherland, has prepared the official ceremony to honor them. Peter, at only seven, is bewildered by all the fanfare, but he is excited to meet Alaidia’s king and queen – and their young son Kennard.
During the party at Alaidia’s capital, Peter wanders off with Kennard (5) and Mark (9), Kennard’s relation. While playing in the parlor, Mark taunts Kennard by holding a book out of his reach. Peter steps in to defend, but in the tousle he accidentally shoves Kennard into the hearth, where Kennard burns his hand and snags his wrist on the grate. Kennard’s screams draw the attention of his nursemaid, and Mark sends Peter running with a threat – “I’ll tell them it’s your fault.”
Peter runs back to find his parents – and discovers the parlor abandoned. Peter races over the palace looking for his parents, hearing gunfire. He witness a parlor torn up with a riot and sees another room in flames – before finally sticking his head out a window and finding his party hitching a wagon in the courtyard. Peter’s family rides away safely, and his mother tells him to forget the whole ordeal. He takes her advice to heart.
***
What happened on that day is Edric, Kennard's uncle, killed the king and queen and took the throne. Peter and the rest of the world believed that Kennard died in the fighting as well - there's a grave at the capital with his name on it. What only a few souls know, however, is that Kennard escaped with his nursemaid and her husband and is now living as a peasant in Reval under the name Nathan. The book starts up 12 years later, with Peter at age 19, Mark at 21, and Nathan at almost 18. When Peter and Nathan cross paths next, Peter doesn't recognize him - but the nasty scar on Nathan's wrist haunts him for reasons he cannot figure out. None of the royalty at Alaidia recognize Nathan either - except Mark.
Thoughts?
