Candy's Essence

Elly · **Joined:** October 22nd, 2010, 7:58 am **Posts:** 4197

Candy

Appearance
Hair
.....-Sun's rays
Long
.....-Willow tree
Smile
.....-Endless river
.....-Rose
Face
Kind
.....-Helping hand

Personality
Sweet
.....-Penny candy
.....-Chocolate
.....-Ruby lips
Funny
.....-Comedian
.....-Joke

Rachel Newhouse · **Posted:** February 4th, 2011, 5:57 pm

She sounds like someone who is simple and sweet - and probably laughs a lot. Candy is a good name.

I would probably try and use some metaphors that are a little longer, more specific, and more descriptive. "Sun's rays" paints a specific picture, but "river" is vaguer. A river can have a lot of feels depending on its type and how it's used.

Elly · **Joined:** October 22nd, 2010, 7:58 am **Posts:** 4197

In fact, the title of my book is "Sweet as Candy"!

For "river", I think that "broad river" or "endless river" is a stronger metaphor. What do you think?

Rachel Newhouse · **Posted:** February 5th, 2011, 4:41 pm

Only you know what you're going for with "river"! Both of those paint a more specific picture, though.

Kiev Shawn · **Posted:** February 5th, 2011, 4:43 pm

I like it, Elly! (And I must say I'm intrigued further by your story)

You can have very long\detailed metaphors...

They add definition and clarity, if I'm making any sense at all.

Elly · **Joined:** October 22nd, 2010, 7:58 am **Posts:** 4197

It makes perfect, unperfect sense.

I'm going to edit my post and put "endless river".

Lady Shanai-Irisis · **Posted:** February 17th, 2011, 12:19 am

Yes, Elly, I echo what the others have said. But she does seem like a very sweet, simple girl!

Candy's Essence

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