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Nathan's essence (Alaidia)
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=2081
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Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ February 1st, 2011, 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

My second essence map! :D I'm still having trouble dividing mind from soul... but I am told it's not critical as long as I understand the character himself.

Nathan's a bit of a trouble character for me, to make him unassuming without being pathetic and unlovable, so any opinions on his map would be appreciated.

***
NATHAN

{APPEARANCE}
-HAIR
--color
---Brown
*curls of shaved chocolate
*undyed brown wool
--Texture
---Curly, Thick
*uncarded wool locks
*a brown sheep

-EYES
--color
---Brown
*coffee beans
*melted chocolate
--Depth
---Dull
*a lifeless portrait
*a nonresponsive victim
---Observant
*an elderly man quietly sitting on the street corner
*a person, alone in the booth, watching out the coffee shop window
---Distrustful
*a teenager living on the streets
*a betrayed soldier

-BODY
--Build
---Average
*a healthy domesticated dog
*a small shade tree
--Height
---Short
*a stunted tree
*a preteen child
*a miniature horse

{SPIRIT}
---Calm
*a cloudless sky
*a low stone wall around quiet gardens
*a shelf of dusty books
---Simplistic
*a nicked kitchen table
*an unadorned hearth
*an all-purpose black cloak
*dust floating in a shaft of sunlight
---Content
*a full-grown oak
*a sleeping cat
*a stump in the middle of the forest
---Adaptable
*a transplanted bush
*versatile basic tennis shoes
*a chameleon
---Durable
*clay cured by fire
*a battle-hardened soldier
*a stone smoothed by weather
*a salty, experienced sailor in the face of a storm

{MIND}
---Bitter
*a defeated soldier after the war
*dried, hardened bread
*splintered ends of worn wood
---Resigned
*a death-row prisoner
*awaiting judgment after pleading guilty
*calling off a war by agreeing to unconditional surrender
*shouting insults at the mute
---Hiding
*a moth camouflaged in the trunk of a tree
*a disguised prince blending with the populace
*a venomous snake lying camouflaged on a dirt path
---Withholding
*a book of revealing history written in a foreign language
*an undetected code hidden in the text of a mundane letter
*a locked chest

Author:  Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ February 2nd, 2011, 7:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

Wow - I love just about all of your MIND metaphors, but this one stuck out to me as one of the best:

an undetected code hidden in the text of a mundane letter

eruheran

Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ February 2nd, 2011, 11:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

Aw, thank you, Drew! :D I'm glad that one made sense... it was a bit of a cumbersome concept to explain. :?

Author:  Elly [ February 4th, 2011, 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

That was really good! :D
I started today with essence maps, and mine were kind of... startling. :rofl: :roll:

Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ February 4th, 2011, 5:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

Thanks, Elly. I'm checking out yours. :D

Author:  Lady Eruwaedhiel [ February 7th, 2011, 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

Beautiful beautiful, Philly! You've done a really great job with getting across his personality. I love how all of your metaphors ... well, just ... fit. :D

I like Nathan.

Oh, and this part: "a venomous snake lying camouflaged on a dirt path"
I didn't know if you wanted to convey the sense of danger that this implies. I think there's something in the next level of X that you can use to fix it. A minus function. Like: "a venomous snake lying camouflaged on a dirt path [minus] danger"
I'm not certain how it goes, so don't quote me on that. Ask Sir Emeth. ;)

Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ February 7th, 2011, 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

Thank you very much, Lady E! I'm glad you like Nathan... sometimes I worry that I've made him such a wimp that nobody will appreciate him. :P

Thank you for the tip - I didn't know that about X-level maps. However, for this purpose I did toss that one in there for the sense of danger. It's not a big element of his personality, but it is there. For some people, he's a ticking bomb waiting to be triggered. His very presence could ignite a war. Also, while he tends to be reclusive, he has a volatile store of bitterness, anger, and a hint of revenge that can spark. So by including just one metaphor with a sense of danger I hoped to convey that subtle thread of rage.

Author:  Lady Eruwaedhiel [ February 7th, 2011, 4:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

It worked. :D

Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ February 7th, 2011, 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

I'm glad of that. Thank you! :D

Author:  Lady Shanai-Irisis [ February 17th, 2011, 12:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

Phili, I love the essence map! So well done! Great job, it's awesome. I loved how you described pretty much everything! ;)

Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ February 18th, 2011, 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia)

Thank you, Irisis! I'm glad to hear it was comprehensive enough, coming from someone that's not familiar with the character. :D

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