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| Nathan's essence (Alaidia) https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=2081 | Page 1 of 1 | 
| Author: | Rachel Newhouse [ February 1st, 2011, 11:08 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| My second essence map!  I'm still having trouble dividing mind from soul... but I am told it's not critical as long as I understand the character himself. Nathan's a bit of a trouble character for me, to make him unassuming without being pathetic and unlovable, so any opinions on his map would be appreciated. *** NATHAN {APPEARANCE} -HAIR --color ---Brown *curls of shaved chocolate *undyed brown wool --Texture ---Curly, Thick *uncarded wool locks *a brown sheep -EYES --color ---Brown *coffee beans *melted chocolate --Depth ---Dull *a lifeless portrait *a nonresponsive victim ---Observant *an elderly man quietly sitting on the street corner *a person, alone in the booth, watching out the coffee shop window ---Distrustful *a teenager living on the streets *a betrayed soldier -BODY --Build ---Average *a healthy domesticated dog *a small shade tree --Height ---Short *a stunted tree *a preteen child *a miniature horse {SPIRIT} ---Calm *a cloudless sky *a low stone wall around quiet gardens *a shelf of dusty books ---Simplistic *a nicked kitchen table *an unadorned hearth *an all-purpose black cloak *dust floating in a shaft of sunlight ---Content *a full-grown oak *a sleeping cat *a stump in the middle of the forest ---Adaptable *a transplanted bush *versatile basic tennis shoes *a chameleon ---Durable *clay cured by fire *a battle-hardened soldier *a stone smoothed by weather *a salty, experienced sailor in the face of a storm {MIND} ---Bitter *a defeated soldier after the war *dried, hardened bread *splintered ends of worn wood ---Resigned *a death-row prisoner *awaiting judgment after pleading guilty *calling off a war by agreeing to unconditional surrender *shouting insults at the mute ---Hiding *a moth camouflaged in the trunk of a tree *a disguised prince blending with the populace *a venomous snake lying camouflaged on a dirt path ---Withholding *a book of revealing history written in a foreign language *an undetected code hidden in the text of a mundane letter *a locked chest | |
| Author: | Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ February 2nd, 2011, 7:16 am ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| Wow - I love just about all of your MIND metaphors, but this one stuck out to me as one of the best: an undetected code hidden in the text of a mundane letter eruheran | |
| Author: | Rachel Newhouse [ February 2nd, 2011, 11:47 am ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| Aw, thank you, Drew!  I'm glad that one made sense... it was a bit of a cumbersome concept to explain.   | |
| Author: | Elly [ February 4th, 2011, 4:54 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| That was really good!  I started today with essence maps, and mine were kind of... startling.     | |
| Author: | Rachel Newhouse [ February 4th, 2011, 5:54 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| Thanks, Elly. I'm checking out yours.   | |
| Author: | Lady Eruwaedhiel [ February 7th, 2011, 12:38 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| Beautiful beautiful, Philly! You've done a really great job with getting across his personality. I love how all of your metaphors ... well, just ... fit.  I like Nathan. Oh, and this part: "a venomous snake lying camouflaged on a dirt path" I didn't know if you wanted to convey the sense of danger that this implies. I think there's something in the next level of X that you can use to fix it. A minus function. Like: "a venomous snake lying camouflaged on a dirt path [minus] danger" I'm not certain how it goes, so don't quote me on that. Ask Sir Emeth.   | |
| Author: | Rachel Newhouse [ February 7th, 2011, 3:38 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| Thank you very much, Lady E! I'm glad you like Nathan... sometimes I worry that I've made him such a wimp that nobody will appreciate him.  Thank you for the tip - I didn't know that about X-level maps. However, for this purpose I did toss that one in there for the sense of danger. It's not a big element of his personality, but it is there. For some people, he's a ticking bomb waiting to be triggered. His very presence could ignite a war. Also, while he tends to be reclusive, he has a volatile store of bitterness, anger, and a hint of revenge that can spark. So by including just one metaphor with a sense of danger I hoped to convey that subtle thread of rage. | |
| Author: | Lady Eruwaedhiel [ February 7th, 2011, 4:34 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| It worked.   | |
| Author: | Rachel Newhouse [ February 7th, 2011, 4:36 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| I'm glad of that. Thank you!   | |
| Author: | Lady Shanai-Irisis [ February 17th, 2011, 12:23 am ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| Phili, I love the essence map! So well done! Great job, it's awesome. I loved how you described pretty much everything!   | |
| Author: | Rachel Newhouse [ February 18th, 2011, 11:23 pm ] | 
| Post subject: | Re: Nathan's essence (Alaidia) | 
| Thank you, Irisis! I'm glad to hear it was comprehensive enough, coming from someone that's not familiar with the character.   | |
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