Login | Register







Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 13 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 25th, 2012, 4:55 pm 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: December 20th, 2011, 3:54 pm
Posts: 5252
Location: Washington State
This is in general discussion because I didn't know where else it might fit, it's not even a fantasy that I'm having trouble with, but I figured it'd be fine to talk about here... :)

My main characters have just lost their entire families and are now struck with the realization that they are alone in North America, formerly the US. I think the way I wrote it before was, the boy (who is a Christian, thereby getting comfort) cries and is devastated for about a day and a night before God helps him move on and try to survive. The girl (who isn't a Christian) does eventually stop grieving enough to move on, but has more severe struggles with it than Phil (my male MC) does.

I don't feel very confident about the way either of my characters have dealt with their grief, but since I haven't suffered anything that comes anywhere near something so tragic and shocking (I thank God for that, don't get me wrong!), I have no idea how to portray a human's reaction to something so intense. Help please?


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 25th, 2012, 5:29 pm 
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: October 22nd, 2010, 7:58 am
Posts: 4197
I put this in Character Development. If any of you mods think it fits somewhere better, by all means go ahead and move it. :D

I don't have time right now, as I'm eating dinner, but I'll see if I can answer your question tomorrow. :D

_________________
You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -Robin Williams
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one... -Imagine by John Lennon
A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chaplin
It's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain... -November Rain, Guns'NRoses
Romans 12:18- If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 25th, 2012, 5:36 pm 
Captain
Captain
User avatar

Joined: October 22nd, 2010, 11:31 am
Posts: 10120
Location: UK
Wolf, one thread that might help you is this one, as it discusses grief etc.

_________________

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king

J. R. R. Tolkien


My favourite quote: "God will give His kindness for you to use when your own runs out."

Pippin's Waggy Tales

Autumn Leaves


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 26th, 2012, 1:15 am 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: December 20th, 2011, 3:54 pm
Posts: 5252
Location: Washington State
Thanks guys! Yeah that thread was helpful...


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 27th, 2012, 12:29 am 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: March 6th, 2011, 10:29 pm
Posts: 2192
Location: Texas
So everyone they know dies, right? Whew.
Well, I do know that your body is wired to survive, and it will do whatever it takes to do so. Even erase memories.
I think if it were me, I would feel oddly detached, at first. As in, "Okay, they aren't in my life anymore...this is interesting, being all alone like this...so this is how it feels to be independent..." Stuff like that. Not because I don't love them! But because I'm in shock. Disbelief.
Then, I suppose, the grief would come, and overwhelm me.

_________________
So.
It has come to this.


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 27th, 2012, 11:54 am 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: December 20th, 2011, 3:54 pm
Posts: 5252
Location: Washington State
Aemi wrote:
So everyone they know dies, right? Whew.
Well, I do know that your body is wired to survive, and it will do whatever it takes to do so. Even erase memories.
I think if it were me, I would feel oddly detached, at first. As in, "Okay, they aren't in my life anymore...this is interesting, being all alone like this...so this is how it feels to be independent..." Stuff like that. Not because I don't love them! But because I'm in shock. Disbelief.
Then, I suppose, the grief would come, and overwhelm me.


Thanks so much for your thoughts! Yeah, I was thinking similar things to that, except my mc's see their families led away to ambulances (not everyone died at the same time), already starting to tremble as they lose control over their bodies. Even so, it seems like the grief would be so great it would sort of, um, 'white out' like if you try to take a picture of something too bright with a cheap camera: there's so much to be sad about that none of it really makes it to the grieving stage yet.
I know I can't really do a perfectly accurate rendition of such sadness, but none of my readers will have experienced anything like that. The thing to be careful of is if someone did lose their family or a family member and reacted worse than my characters did after losing their family, friends, and all the rest of human fellowship (at least until they find each other).
I agree, it should start out as disbelief "this can't be happening", then move on to "Whoa, I'm in the house by myself!", and then everything caves in and crushes their other emotions and sensations out of view for awhile until finally God pulls them out of it and, through instinct like you said, reminds them to think rationally, "It's time to do what I've been preparing to do for the past few months."
Do you think that sounds about sort of accurate? Thanks again for the reply! :D


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 27th, 2012, 12:52 pm 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: September 8th, 2010, 10:11 am
Posts: 13933
Location: Where ever my computer happens to be.
Something to think about is why. That is one of the most frequently asked questions, whether you are saved or unsaved. If you are saved, the why is different than an unsaved why, but the why is still there.

_________________
Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 27th, 2012, 1:01 pm 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: December 20th, 2011, 3:54 pm
Posts: 5252
Location: Washington State
Ooh, yes, I forgot the why. I think it makes an appearance in the story, but I probably will need to accentuate it a bit. I think showing the difference between a saved "why" and an unsaved "why" would be a good opportunity to show that God is merciful and helps us deal with our struggles, reminding us he is in control while the unsaved have no answers, and no hope.
I think this would work well for my story since one of my main characters is a Christian and the other one is not. Thanks so much for those thoughts Airi!


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 27th, 2012, 2:17 pm 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: September 8th, 2010, 10:11 am
Posts: 13933
Location: Where ever my computer happens to be.
You are very welcome.

_________________
Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 28th, 2012, 2:09 am 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: March 6th, 2011, 10:29 pm
Posts: 2192
Location: Texas
RunningWolf wrote:
Do you think that sounds about sort of accurate? Thanks again for the reply! :D
Yes, I think so. I know that the phases of grief can play out differently, depending on how it all happens. The degree of shock depends on how sudden and unexpected the death is, I believe, and whether you are present for it.
I can't presume to know everything, but I, like every human, have had some small experience with grief.

_________________
So.
It has come to this.


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 28th, 2012, 7:28 am 
Captain
Captain
User avatar

Joined: October 22nd, 2010, 11:31 am
Posts: 10120
Location: UK
RunningWolf wrote:
Thanks guys! Yeah that thread was helpful...


I'm glad it was helpful. :)

_________________

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king

J. R. R. Tolkien


My favourite quote: "God will give His kindness for you to use when your own runs out."

Pippin's Waggy Tales

Autumn Leaves


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 28th, 2012, 5:11 pm 
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: November 16th, 2009, 9:13 pm
Posts: 2045
Location: Eniret
Have a look at this: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-sta ... grief.html

And if you're up to digging around a bit, there are probably a ton of websites about how to deal with grief. Just pretend that you're your character, browsing though those websites.

_________________
2 Corinthians 3:17 ~ Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

eleutheria - Greek for liberty

My blog:
http://exhortationsbyelizabeth.blogspot.com
A fan of my book?
http://facebook.com/wingstrilogy/


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
PostPosted: January 28th, 2012, 5:38 pm 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: December 20th, 2011, 3:54 pm
Posts: 5252
Location: Washington State
Aemi wrote:
RunningWolf wrote:
Do you think that sounds about sort of accurate? Thanks again for the reply! :D
Yes, I think so. I know that the phases of grief can play out differently, depending on how it all happens. The degree of shock depends on how sudden and unexpected the death is, I believe, and whether you are present for it.
I can't presume to know everything, but I, like every human, have had some small experience with grief.


I agree, it's one of those things that, in the end, God's going to have to lead me through because I'll never really know enough. So I'll have to just do my best and pray God blesses me as I do so. :)

The E wrote:
Have a look at this: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-sta ... grief.html

And if you're up to digging around a bit, there are probably a ton of websites about how to deal with grief. Just pretend that you're your character, browsing though those websites.


Cool, thanks for the link! I never really thought to look at this sort of site, but it makes sense to, great idea! I'll be digging... :)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 13 posts ] 


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron