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 Post subject: Merashath
PostPosted: July 20th, 2010, 7:41 am 
Grease Monkeys
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Joined: June 30th, 2010, 1:23 am
Posts: 4684
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Ok, here is Merashath's essence. Be looking for errors, please, however small.

Merashath
#An old character that has been abandoned. Also my username because I liked his name.#
BODY{
___Strength[
______Legs(
_________<Talons of an eagle>
_________<Bare as a birch tree>)
______Torso(
_________<Firm as a knight’s armor>)
______Wings(
_________<Wide as the oceans shore>
_________<Efficient as a mill>
_________<Powerful as a blacksmith’s hammer>)]
___Face[
______Eyes(
_________<Piercing as a sword>
_________<Searching as a hawk>)
______Ears(
_________<Pointy as an Elf’s>
_________<Bad as an orc>)
______Mouth(
_________<Small as a fish>
_________<Silent as a mouse>)]}
MIND{
___Strength[
______Will(
_________<Weak as a sapling>
_________<Faithful as a dog>)
______Endurance(
_________<Tolerant as a bull>)
______Anger(
_________<Poorly Managed>
_________<Dangerous as an ox #that is, when he is angry, he is dangerous as an ox.#>)]}
SOUL{
___Desires[
______Evil(
_________<Seeks to kill #Merashath is an assassin#>
_________<Thirsty as a desert for power>
_________<A hunter for revenge>)
______Good(
_________<Void as a black hole>)]
___Motives[
______Money(
_________<Poor as a ditch digger>
_________<Deeply exposed to riches>)
______Power(
_________<Powerless as a mouse>
_________<Promised as much power as a lion>)]}
HISTORY{
___Childhood[
______Love(
_________<Received as little as an exile>)
______Esteem(
_________<Low as a worm>
_________<Smaller than a grain of sand>)]
___Teenage[
______Family(
_________<Mother and father died>
_________<Lonely as an ant on a mountain>)
______Turning Evil(
_________<Left to forest>
_________<Found a dark lord>
_________<Dark lord hired Merashath as assassin>)]
___Adulthood[
______Rebellion(
_________<Merashath transformed by magic>
_________<Learns of plot, plans to kill dark lord>
_________<In fit of rage kills dark lord, but becomes greater thing to fear>)]}


I know that the History doesn’t completely follow the original idea of essence, but since Merashath is a character from a story I’ve abandoned, I’m not going to fractal him, and I wanted that piece of history.

Otherwise, is my essence ok? I know that I used similes instead of metaphors, but my brother said that whatever would work. If that isn’t ok, or if there is anything else wrong, please criticize. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Merashath
PostPosted: July 21st, 2010, 12:04 am 
Grease Monkeys
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Joined: May 14th, 2010, 4:43 am
Posts: 4458
Looks good. But then, I'm not the one to ask. :D

eruheran

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I am a dreamer of big dreams: a student of wisdom, a reader of books, and a crafter of words. I am a servant of my Master who has rescued me. I am an adventurer, living my life to the fullest. Will you join me on this wild journey?


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 Post subject: Re: Merashath
PostPosted: July 21st, 2010, 12:16 am 
Grease Monkeys
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Joined: June 30th, 2010, 1:23 am
Posts: 4684
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
I learned how to do it from your newbies impression of essence. Thank-you so much!!! :D

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 Post subject: Re: Merashath
PostPosted: July 30th, 2010, 4:58 pm 
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Joined: February 16th, 2010, 10:36 pm
Posts: 2603
good job

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"You are the laughter I forgot how to make." - Calista Beth

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"I'm a man of many personalities, but tell you what? They're all very fond of you." - Sheogorath from Elder Scrolls Online


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 Post subject: Re: Merashath
PostPosted: July 30th, 2010, 5:22 pm 
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Joined: April 25th, 2010, 3:18 pm
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Location: The Forests of Imendriah
I thought it was rather good, in my opinion :D

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I slipped past the gate with Malka and ran into the forest, gazing back one last time to see the lights of my beloved city, Arenford--and the capture of my last living relative, uncle Eldon.


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