Ok, so in my allegorical story, I have a race of people called Untouchables. (really original, eh?:))

In this race, it is believed that females have some kind of power that keeps evil from entering the race. However this power comes to them when they are toddlers, and leaves them when any kind of skin to skin contact happens, whether they touch someone else, or someone touches them...it's gone.


My question was...is this just too extremely weird? I was thinking about a woman sacrificing that power so she could have a real family, and other girls just feeling isolated, and I thought I could do some really interesting things with it, but...when I tell people about it, they usually don't respond too favorably.

Wow! That's such a cool idea! I don't think it's too extreme. I am curious, though, do the females really have that power? Is the entire race doomed if one of the females touches someone, or is it just that family? Or, if one girl was untouched all her life, would that protect the entire race, and so just one special girl feels the isolation? Perhaps a little more detail would help, but I think you should keep them; it is such a wonderful concept.

There...IS a measure of truth in it, but it's become extreme, and warped.

Physical contact does not get rid of the power, it simply buries it so that it's not as obvious, and now. It's everyone, collectively as a group that makes disaster not happen.

Hmm... I think that it is an original and intriguing idea, but one which is fraught with difficulties. If they could be worked out, then I think that it would be a worthy idea to develop into a story.

How does the race perpetuate itself? If no contact is permitted, then the race would soon die out as the members grew old and died. Culturally, each girl would 'sacrifice' her power when she wed. But it would be expected that every girl would defend the nation until they married. Therefore, you would have a feminine army, and marriage would be delayed as unpatriotic, especially in times of war. This would create more harm than good to the society.

You could do it more like Reality, in that both men and women have the power unless they touch outside marriage, or something like that.

Difficult, but intriguing problem.

That's kind of my point actually. Their culture has a lot of problems. Men have been feminized, women have been masculinized, next to nobody gets married or has children, so it's basically a great big huge mess.

(and you kind of guessed my point there. Contrary to common belief women are not actually the only powerful ones in society.)

Ah. Well, I think that the main deciding factor is where the odd attribute came from originally. If it is inherent in the race then it begs the question, why did God do that? If it was brought upon themselves it makes more sense. In any case, it cannot last long as a society.

It was originally a gift, however, they turned it into a curse, and it turned on them.

Who gave them the gift? Because he wasn't very far-sighted. I like the idea, because it lets you do a lot of very interesting parallels.

Elohim gave it to them. And he knew exactly what they were going to do with it, but he wanted them to have a choice.

To teach them a lesson? It sounds more like a curse than a blessing...

The power itself is not good or bad, it can be used for either, and that's something that He left up to them. They could either use it as a blessing or curse themselves. Does that make more sense? (I tend to be confusing...a lot of the time.)

That is the thing. It seems, from what you are saying, that the power is always detrimental to the society. Either the race runs into extinction, or you have a lopsided society with women warriors. Maybe I am misunderstanding the exact nature of the original gift.

That's a really intriguing idea...
There are definitely some things that could be worked out though. What do you mean it buries the power when they make physical contact with someone? Can they still use it, but less? Or do they somehow have to "cleanse" themselves?
From what you've said, it seems like evil already has a hold on their culture, even though many of the women haven't had any physical contact. Is it because some of the women gave up the gift, or something else?
Those are just some questions that popped into my mind when I read that, but other than that, I think it's a really neat idea!

Sir Emeth: Remember that God also gave Adam and Eve a choice when He placed the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the garden, even though He knew that man would fall because of it.

That is true. However, there is a difference between the situations as I see it, because there was the option for good in the garden of Eden, and I do not see how the gift of this race can be used for good. Do you see any way that they could?

This race was created as a warrior race, to serve under the Parya as Guardians in Aelyrica. This power they were given, was simple and pure light, which acted as a stunning blow to Lucian and his agents of darkness.

However, after the fall of the Parya, this warrior race fell into darkness and superstition, and completely left Elohim behind. They turned their power into a type of dark arts.

They now have this fear of losing their power, hence all these repressive rules they have for women. (AND men, although that's just not as obvious)

Ah! That makes more sense. I like it a lot more now.

I see what you're saying. Now that I think about it, I don't see many options for good either.

But, never mind, I just read the last post, and I like it more now!