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 Post subject: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 7th, 2012, 5:22 am 
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I have been vacillating on this point for awhile now, so I finally decided to take advantage of the awesome discussion powers of my fellow HWers. :)

I have three scenes that I have written or plan to write, in sequence. I am trying to decide if the middle scene should be included or cut.

First scene: MC POV, freaking out because he believes that certain people are gong to assassinate a certain person who he is... attached to in a queer way. He is knocked out.

Second scene: Other person's POV, chase scene, assassinated. Ends at his death.

Third scene: MC POV, waking up in the -- er -- medical place, drugged, emotionally wiped out and wondering if the guy is dead.

I believe he finds out if the guy is dead or not awhile later, but he might not, and it is not integral that the readers know, so that is not an issue. Also, switching the POV is not an issue as the book is a very jumpy one. It switches POVs a lot.

What I can't decide is if it would be more emotionally clean, and less choppy (the two outside scenes are rather hazy/emotional/artistic type, and the middle one is a fast paced, snide, practical skeptic type, sort of), if I remove the middle scene; or if it would add to the reader experience to include it, especially since a sort of recurring theme of the whole book is the fact that often the reader knows more than the MC, and is sort of tortured by the fact that the MC doesn't know.

Impressions, thoughts, opinions, or die-hard beliefs, anyone? :beg:


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 Post subject: Re: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 7th, 2012, 5:50 am 
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If your writing switches POV's a lot already, then throwing a fast-paced one in there wouldn't make a great deal of difference I don't think in my mind. Also by doing that, you make absolutely sure the reader knows what you want them to. Personally I don't mind abrupt chapters, because it wakes you from a lull you may have gotten into while reading the book. Makes you sit up and pay attention. :D Those are my thoughts, anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 7th, 2012, 9:06 am 
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I think you could go either way. You could torture people by not letting them know if the guy has died, or you can give them more info than the MC, as you said you have done before.

I think it really depends on what your goal is for the reader to feel. Style wise I don't think you need to worry, since you said you have done this before in the book. :)

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 Post subject: Re: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 7th, 2012, 11:01 pm 
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I agree with Airianna. If switching POV's is something you do, then it shouldn't matter. The question you need to ask yourself is: what do I want the reader to experience? Do you want to heighten the suspense by not telling if the guy died, or would you rather have them go crazy knowing something the MC doesn't. If you take the latter path, I would be careful not to drag on too long before the MC finds out what happened. If he never finds out, that might become irksome to someone reading it.

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 Post subject: Re: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 8th, 2012, 3:37 pm 
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Ditto. I think I'd be majorly frustrated if I never found out what happened.

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 Post subject: Re: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 9th, 2012, 7:20 am 
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BushMaid wrote:
Personally I don't mind abrupt chapters, because it wakes you from a lull you may have gotten into while reading the book. Makes you sit up and pay attention.
I didn't think of that. * thinks * Would it change anything if the first and third scenes are fairly emotionally intense? I am wondering if the juncture between two different but equally intense kinds of scenes might cheapen one or both of them.

Airianna Mimetes wrote:
I think it really depends on what your goal is for the reader to feel.
Yeah, and the problem is I am not sure. :P I think it's probably fifty fifty as far as I am concerned, so I am wondering what a potential reader would prefer.

Lord Tarin wrote:
If you take the latter path, I would be careful not to drag on too long before the MC finds out what happened. If he never finds out, that might become irksome to someone reading it.


Eleutheria Mimetes wrote:
Ditto. I think I'd be majorly frustrated if I never found out what happened.
Hm...being upset because you never find out is not something I had considered. Would it change at all if the actual death of the person is not important to the plot except insofar as the incident affects the MC?


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 Post subject: Re: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 9th, 2012, 1:25 pm 
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No. If it's important to the MC, it's usually important to us.

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 Post subject: Re: A Scene of Death
PostPosted: November 12th, 2012, 6:25 am 
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Even if the MC doesn't even know? Are you suggesting that I treat you better than I treat my characters?! * thinks about she treats her characters * Mm...actually, forget that. There is no way I am treating you guys how I treat my characters.... :P

Anyway, yes, I will consider that. He will probably find out, but if he doesn't I will consider including the scene for that reason.


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