Hi,
Here is some information about one of the Six beasts in my world, the Gryphons. I'm going to change their name by translating it into my yet-to-be-invented language.

The gryphons are one of the Six beasts whose service was given to the Elves (I'm going to rename the "Elves", too). They are powerful and noble creatures, with a lion's body and the wings, head and front legs of an eagle. They are a tawny-gold to bronze color with shimmering feathers, amber eyes and a stern look. They are known for their sharp intelligence and cunning. They excel at anything relating to strategy and are renowned as the best battle-planners. They are proud and can be condescending to any beast they consider to be "lesser" than themselves.

The gryphons have keen eyesight and can fly swiftly. They are about four feet at their shoulder and have a wingspand of ten to twelve feet. (I know, huge. This is why any wise person would be afraid of them.) Most are capable of carrying an average-sized person, though adding too much weight severely damages their flying.

The gryphons prey on deer and other large animals. They live on the plains just south of the mountains (I will post a map soon...). They make nests by gathering dry twigs and soft grasses and arranging them in a sort of basket on the ground, usually underneath the shade of a large tree. The female will lay one to three eggs with two being the most common number. A gryphon is mature at age two, but many continue growing into their third, sometimes fourth, year.

~•†•~
Well, that's what I have so far.

Please tell me what you think. I would love any comments or suggestions.

In Christ Alone,
~ Elsa

I love it! (I want a Gryphon... )

Awesome creatures.

That was also really clear, the way you described them.

I have to agree with Eruwaedhiel. I'd bet they'd be pretty ferocious pets, huh?

You said they were one of the beasts given to the elves, but you also said they were good battle planners; so do they have their own language like and is it like human speaking or more like an animal that is in our world?

They sound amazing! Ditto to Eruwaedhiel; I want one!!!

Sorry to reply to you so late, Griffin.

Yes, they have their own sort of language, but it is pretty much impossible for humans to speak it, since humans don't have beaks. The gryphons can also speak the human languages. (When I say human, I mean humans, elves, etc.)

By "given" I meant that the elves were given the ability to partner with the beasts. (Sort of like the dragon-riders in the Eragon books.) The elves have the ability to bond with the gryphons and obtain sort of "unnatural" characteristics, for lack of a better word. For instance, those who bond with the gryphons will get hawk-like eyesight and other gifts that I haven't come up with... yet.



Thanks. Yes, they are very ferocious. They are not the kind of pet you'd give to your children for their tenth birthday.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and ask a question:

Why rename them? To rename what you have described (clearly and well, as others have noting and I will echo) would, in my mind, cause a reader to simply say, "Sure, it's called a bathushidek, but its a griffon." (And by the way, I don't recommend anyone using the word bathushidek for anything. What a mouthful! )

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to get to the bottom of is a bigger question: if you are renaming creatures in order to cast them in the language of your world, how big a part do these languages play in your narrative? Including original words in your story when the rest is written in plain old English can get sticky. Now, if you were to have a passage where it becomes clear the elves call these beasts bathushideks, whereas folks who speak the common tongue call them griffons, then I might see the renaming.

However, should you simply refer to the creatures by another name from the beginning and stick with that, that's where I see you running into reader criticism about giving a new name to something that already exists. But hey, maybe that doesn't matter to you...ultimately, it's your work, and what readers think is tertiary.

Just a few thoughts on a broader subject.

By the by, I personally LOVE griffons, and I think any world that uses them get an immediate "cool factor bonus."

I understand what you mean, Mrs. Minor, and I thank you for your comments. You gave me a lot to think about.



I can see what you mean.... I think that one reason to rename them is to make them seem more original. Sure it's a gryphon, but it's not necessarily the kind of gryphon readers might think. I want to make my gryphons seem original. Kinda lame reason, but I'm working on it. And yes, bathuwhatsit is quite a tongue-twister.



I am hoping that the language plays a major part. I personally think that it's very cool to include words from a made-up language. But that's just me. I think I may be going about this whole writing thing backwards; first, I start by drawing a map and writing a basic history of the world, starting at the Creation. Then, I'll see where I can pop in my story idea. That's why I am working on the animals first; they are a part of the history, which is a story in itself. I like the idea of having a passage explaining how the elves call them ___ and the villagers call them gryphons.

My reasoning is this; since the elves are the only ones with the power to "tame" the beasts, per se, I would think that they would have their own name for the beasts. After all, the elves have the purest history and lineage, so they use more original words that the other nations. I hope this makes sense.



Hmm... good point. But I don't take criticism too hard, so I think I'd be OK. That is to say, if I ever write a book and publish it.

Thanks for the insight.

Alaethea,
I don't think you're going about the development of your world and the subsequent writing backwards at all. I'm a firm advocate of having the world in place before you try to write in it. In my opinion, it's like doing the research for historical fiction before you start writing: you'll already have the facts in place, so all you have to do is pick and choose from them as you assemble your story, rather than trying to figure out how people, cultures and creatures function in the midst of the sweep of the plot. (Okay, that probably could have been more than one sentence. I tend to be a clause abuser.)

Sounds like you already have a lot of forethought into this world of yours. Blessings on what you create with it!

I agree with Lady Minor wholeheartedly. (Except that I really like the name bathushidek, and will probably end up using it for a nation somewhere, since no one wants it. )

By all means use the name Gryphon. Also use another name for them, though. Have the people who speak 'English' (or who is translated into English for your readers) call them Gryphons, and have another name handy for when needed. Good grief, look at my dragons!

I also agree with Lady Minor that you are writing your story in the perfect order. That is, in my opinion, the best way of writing fantasy.

Hee hee...enjoy your little belated Christmas gift of the word bathushidek. Use it however you see fit.