I personally think it's fine. And I like how she fights with a dagger; I find dagger fighting quite cool and to do it well requires macho skill and bravery, because you have to be so close to the Designated Kill-ee. Think about what it says about their characters, that one uses a sword and one uses a dagger. Is it just a matter of physical strength, or is there something more? Is she the quick one who darts in for the kill while he engages the enemy? Can she throw the knife? Does she do most of the hunting? Does this event change not only their relationship, but their fighting style? Are they more efficient now that he knows he can trust her to cover his back?

I do have an issue with where the wolves came from. They can't just come out of nowhere. For a big pack of wolves there has to be food, housing, and some way to train them to do the Bad People's will. And why would the Bad People want to throw the characters into the cavern? Wouldn't it just be easier to kill them? Huge giant underground caverns are huge and giant and confusing, which freaks out the prisoners but also means it's probably really hard to ensure the people won't escape.

Also, why do the columns start to collapse? It's very dramatic, of course, but it also seems a bit Indiana Jones-y. I'm not going to say it can't work, but you need to think about why. Did the opening of the wolves cage cause the roof to lose some of its support or something? And why do the people keep wolves underground? Do they die a lot from lack of good air and proper exercise? Get in fights? Is it to keep them Super Savage? What do the Bad People do to keep them from killing them or each other? And wolves have such a set, complex social structure; they take care of each other. Have the Bad People taken this away from them, turned them against each other?

Even if you don't use all of this or even any of this in your book, you need to know this kind of stuff. Otherwise, it really can seem like Indiana Jones. And as much as we all love Indy, we don't want that.

Andrew, I think it sounds reasonable. It's good that Zac makes the first strike at the wolves, but when one goes at Arya, she reacts appropriately.

Celearas has good suggestions for checking the realism of your piece, but I will say that it sounds intriguing nonetheless.

I have one tip: don't overcomplicate the issue.

@Celearas: I shall reply to that post by PM, just because my reply is sort of long and not necessarily on-topic.

eruheran

I have the same problem with boys, I have no idea what boys think, so I can relate, .

Of course, every girl is different and varies a lot, so I guess a good tip is that we tend to think a lot about our emotions. And I once heard someone describe the way a girl thinks as a bunch of wires, everything is connected. So if something bad happens that would effect the character's attitude in everything (and vise versa), unless you want to make a girl character that tries to cover their emotions.

I hope this helped, sorry if it's a bit choppy, I'm bad at advice.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions , though.

Bethany Faith

It will depend on your girl, but one thing I've noticed is that girls hold grudges. Forever. I notice this at school. Girls are more emotional, and thus resort more to emotional warfare. My grandfather was telling me once how when he was a teacher, if he saw boys who didn't get along, he'd take them outside after school and let them fight it out. After that he usually had few problems with them. Girls aren't like that. A girl will try to undermine the other in every way, eliminating her friends and undermining her reputation. A girl will try to make the other feel lonely and upset. That's how cliques form - one person doesn't like the other, thus none of her friends can like the other, thus none of the other's friends like her or her friends, etc. Of course, if you're writing girls that get along well, it's a different story. They may be secretive. It would be natural for them to speak alone amongst each other without consulting the males among them. I have two characters who are always laughing together about something nobody else understands. Much of the time, they're laughing at the boys (because I have a couple boys who are entirely oblivious, according to the girls, and they think it's hilarious.) Some girls will tend to take a sign of friendship as a romance. I have that problem with my characters too. Hope that helps.

Ooh! I didn't think of it like that... I have forgotten to incorporate that into writing! Thank ya'll!


Ooh! That just gave me an idea! Thanks FC!

And that pretty much says it all. I rarely feel like I don't need to add to something, Aldara, but this would be one of those times. High praise, on my end.

My two florins, for what they're worth - do your homework. If you're having trouble developing a character of the opposite sex, find several characters that exhibit some of the traits you'd like to incoporate and see how a veteran writer pulled it off. For a spunky yet feminine heroine, read some L.M. Montgomery - not just Anne Shirley, but Emily Byrd Starr. For a gal who plays rough with the boys, see what Tamora Pierce did with Alanna or Keladry. N.D. Wilson developed a suspicious, independent snoop in Henrietta, but she turned out to have some insecurities as well. Lloyd Alexander has the somewhat pompous but highly capable Eilonwy. And, of course, Gail Carson Levine gave us Ella of Frell, a kindhearted girl who develops a stubborn/rebellious streak a mile wide because of a spell that forces her to be unnaturally obedient. While it's easy to sit back and enjoy all of these stories for the entertainment value, it can also be very useful to take a step back and study the craftsmanship.

It's all very well to get some suggestions and observations - some girls are like this, some girls are like that - but what you need to do is figure out what you want your girl to be like, and then figure out WHY she's that way, even if that part of her backstory isn't a significant part of the story you're currently telling.

Of course, this is coming from the gal who hasn't finished a story in eight years because she gets so sidetracked doing research that she never gets all the words down on the page. *Passes around the salt lick*

Roundelais: That is a thoroughly excellent idea. Thank you muchly

(I know what you mean about getting sidetracked on research. Ugh )

eru

Why thank you.

Of course it depends on the person, we all must be aware that just because most, it doesn't mean all.

No longer available.

I really thought I'd posted in this topic...

I've only been able to scan this topic, but I would like to say a couple of things...

Some girls are really competitive. Say, if someone throws a jelly-fish at me, I won't scream and run away like many girls. Though I won't get angry or annoyed or even care, I'll want to throw a big wet glob of sand back just for the fun of a good fight... Same with sport. I don't mind losing, but the fight to win sure is awesome.

A girl may also be deeply emotional, but be able to cover really well and use her head at the same time.

Bethany was so right when she mentioned thinking a lot. I think a lot of girls think about stuff more than is actually good and reasonable. Especially small things and things that cannot be changed. Much more likely to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whereas guys sometimes seem to brush over things that should be more important.

I very much agree, seeing as these are my personality traits.

But I'm not most girls, which is why, shockingly, I haven't participated in this thread much.

*nods*

Just like my friend Tessa!

I think some of this might be overcomplicating the issue...

God has created us all so differently that it's impossible to distill an entire gender down. That's where we get stereotypes.

There are so many exceptions to every rule i.e...

I would rather be respected than loved.
I enjoy working myself to the point of exhaustion in sports/heavy labor and getting filthy dirty while I do so.
I do not hold grudges.
And if it's hunting, weapons training, or sports I am SO there.
This does not make me masculine or a tomboy, just as a young man loving little children or the culinary arts does not make him feminine.

The most important thing to remember is that girls are regular people too! Most of us (and you'll notice I said most) are not aliens from an unknown planet. Give female characters the same emotions you have, and sometimes even the same interests.

There IS something to be said for writing a girl (partially) the way you would write a guy. The differences have been marked out well in this thread, but I think it would be good to also remember that both men and women still can have a lot in common.

Thank you for writing that up, Willow. I found it very helpful.

Excellent post.

If we went by stereotypes, we'd all be gender-confused.

Amen, Eli.

Because I love to cook and read Jane Austen. But I also rap, shoot guns, and climb mountains. xD

Yeah, I'm similar.

And me? Find any 'official' list of major characteristic differences between women and men, and 70% of the women's list will apply to me. Only about 30% of the men's list will.

Right... I'm about 50/50...