Let me add something here, that I think you should understand as a girl writing guys, and that I think girls tend not to understand, at least not intuitively.
You are both more and less important than you may think.Let me explain what I mean. First of all, you (girls) are
more important than you may think. To illustrate this, I will tell a story, with enough facts changed that no one can be identified. The crux of the story, however, is entirely true, upon my honour.
A young man, who shall be called Bob, was engaged in a sparring match in a martial art. He went up against an opponent who shall be called Jim. Now Bob may or may not have been better than Jim. That's largely unimportant, and I honestly don't know the answer.
The point is that there was a very pretty girl sitting on the sideline, who shall be called Sarah (because in reality neither I nor Bob has ever known a Sarah). She sat on Bob's side of the ring. Immediately before the match, Bob turned around and looked at Sarah. She smiled back at him, a big, beautiful smile. The referee said "Seijak!" (begin) and Bob tore Jim apart. It was a landslide. I don't think Jim scored a single point. He never had a chance, because Bob had a serious motivation. He was fighting for Sarah. I don't think Sarah knew what the fact that she came and watched Bob's fight, sat in his corner, and smiled at him meant to Bob. Even Bob's mom thought Sarah was "distracting" him. You're
more important than you may think.
Now here's an example of how you're
less important than you may think.
Guys look at girls. This is a fact. Additionally, I have it on good authority that girls like it. Some girls, moreover, dress (or more precisely,
don't dress) in a way that they think will get more guys to look at them. Now, I don't want to turn this into a discussion about female modesty. That's beside the point. The point I'm going to make is best expressed in the words of theologian Douglas Wilson, who
wrote:
But here it is. We are a fallen race, and most of us aren't that cute. This has implications for how we interact with each other. My wife tells me that women know when they are being "checked out," and it has to be acknowledged that many men are not nearly as surreptitious as they think they are. But it must also be said that many of these women misunderstand the nature of the check out. The most striking fact about the majority of women who dress immodestly (or foolishly) is the clear fact (at least clear to everybody now) that they cannot really afford to do so. For example, when a Christian woman goes way too tight for church, the resultant glances from some of the men (that she does notice, awarding the men hypocrite points as she goes) are, in most instances, not what she thinks. One man is thinking, "Yikes, where's my six-year-old?" Another man is remembering that memorable phrase from Wodehouse -- "a snake with hips." Yet another is wondering how fabric engineers manage to make it that strong, and is proud of America's continued technological advantages. Twenty percent of the men do struggle with lust, but it is a lust excited by the apparent availability and sexual impudence, and not because Helen of Troy came through the second service today.Thus, as he writes, men lust after women, but not as much as women may think, and when they do, it's not necessarily because they're struck by how beautiful she is; you are
less important than you may think.
Admittedly, this is very specific to how guys think about girls, and not more general advice on writing guys in general. But it may help you, or someone else, at some point. I hope so. *shrugs*
)
