Critique, I pray you!

Defining terms:
Refiguration: something added to the original form of the human.
Alchemic: supernatural properties of a substance.
Thaumaturgic: supernatural properties of an action.
Shifting: the ability of a refiguration to disappear and reappear.


Lack of the eyes, ears, mouth, or nose, or any combinations of them. Refigurations of them are also absent. If the eyes are lacking there may be a slight sweep inwards, and if the mouth and nose are lacking then the entire lower part of the face may also be lacking, the throat coming under the cheekbones as it would under the chin.


Without a head, but with an alternate, alchemic face on top of the body, where the neck would have joined, with eyes like a crab’s eyes, one or two eyes, or three or four in a triangle, or five in a pentagon.


Gill holes in the throat, like those of the eel or lamprey. It cannot shift, but some (probably not many) may have a dual respiratory system like the lungfish. It is always had from birth.
The ability to breath water has alchemic significance. In relation to the breath, it is equivalent to sealing the breath of life in the person, like those who lack a nose and mouth. A sealed cavity with air designed to produce sound, such as fish have, is considered the breath of life, because it is used to speak.

Nostrils that can seal closed like those of the whale or porpoise. Lungs designed to be able to breath once in a long period of time, probably longer than the porpoise. It cannot shift, and is commonly had from birth. It can be used indirectly as an alchemic defense of the breath, and thaumaturgic disciplines can greatly prolong breath holding.

The gill holes and sealing nostrils coincide with a skin altered subtly for water, and the ability to withstand pressure with those that live in the deep. The ability to withstand pressure also has alchemic significance, and is involved in alchemic disciplines.


Small horns rooted deep in the nasal cavity, fused with the upper, outer wall of the nostrils, made of cartilage like the nose or the ear; no thicker than leaf stems, never longer than the length of the small finger, and usually no longer than half that length. They are mobile, and may be used like alchemic sensors of vibration or alchemic scents, or may be used for guarding the breath, or working by the breath, and only indirectly used as a sensors. They cannot shift.


An upside down nose; the nostrils open in the inner or outer corners of the eyes, or both; there may be a nose as well, with or without horns, or the nose may be replaced with a hard, shallow ridge, like a straight, vertical, hairless, eyebrow. The apparatus behind this ridge and the eye nostrils are used alchemically, primarily as a defense of the breath, but can indirectly be used to sense or to work by the breath. The eye nostrils may be armed with horns as well.


A single nostril, with a nose that may be different in shape, less projecting, and may be similar to the blowhole of a marine mammal. But it is not associated with mermen.


Nostrils extended to the size of keyholes, sometimes with tapering slits, creases, or grooves extending out of it a little, or, less commonly, spreading over the face like a deformed, black star. There are different patterns for different people’s faces. There may be red, raw flesh fringing the opening, making it look like a wound. They may be in conjunction with the nostril horns. The nose may also be entirely removed, an empty opening lined with a thin alchemic membrane, housing an invisible, alchemic nose consisting of an alchemic energy field which may be able to produce thaumaturgic wires (wires as thin as hairs with ends sharper than needles) or a thaumaturgic blade. With or without the grooves it may have reddened, raw flesh lining the cavity, making it like a wound. A single crack or pointed oval shaped orifice in the back of the cavity is breathed through. Free standing nasal horns would be anchored on either side of this crack, if such horns are present. It can shift.

Empty eye sockets, lined inside with a thin, alchemic membrane. The sockets may be expanded or diminished, and may have star like grooves radiating from it. With or without the grooves they may have reddened, raw flesh lining the sockets, making them look like wounds. The eyelids and eyebrows may remain or be absent. These alchemic cavities house invisible eyes consisting purely of alchemic energy fields. The energy field may be able to produce a thaumaturgic blade, or thaumaturgic wires. There may be a single eye socket in between where the original eyes would rest, with the face distorted to give it room. It can shift. A single eye socket may be present as well as an empty nasal cavity, or they may be joined into one cavity that can divide the entire upper part of the face.


An alchemic secondary ear in both temples, or a little above the ear, hidden in the hair, in appearance like a wasp’s oculus, commonly the size of an ant’s abdomen, in rare cases being as large as a lentil bean. May also be like a small rising of the skin as though something is under the skin, the same size as the oculus shaped ears. These risings, or the skin around the oculus shaped ears, may grow red under thaumaturgic strain. They may be able to shift in rare cases, or be able to shift between the oculus form and the rising of the skin.


An ear with altered convolutions.

An ear not separate from the head, the ear hole and the convolutions of the ear being directly in the side of the head, and the convolutions altered in various ways. It can shift.


A second ear hole directly behind the ear, where it joins the head. It may have one or two small, short grooves curving out from it, like the tail of an embryonic fish. It cannot shift.
Alchemic ears can be used in foresight and insight, and be used in mental and mainly word based thaumaturgy.


Gill like slit or slits in the cheek, not for breathing, but for producing an alchemic voice, and indirectly usable as alchemic sensory organs. They may give a cry that makes them bleed, or they may sense something great that makes them bleed, like a sound that makes the ears bleed.


The top of the head in men or women being bald. The place may be ringed with thorn like studs, like a “fairy ring,” none of the thorns being higher than an inch, and they may be broader or narrower than an inch at the base. The dome of the head may be increased or decreased in height. It cannot shift. Is used for working thaumaturgy or for sensing.


The inside of the mouth being white like the cottonmouth snake, this being an alchemic covering. It may partly or completely cover the teeth, though it is in front of the teeth as well as behind in any case, ending immediately at the lips, the white often showing slightly even when the mouth is shut. The tongue is also covered by the membrane. The mouth may be able to open further than commonly, and the tongue recede.

This membrane may be used to work thaumaturgy. In further transformation, the teeth darken through gray to black at the crowns or points, but not grow larger or change form. In furthest transformation, the teeth may change to a bestial formation, having two fangs in the upper jaw, and two fangs in the lower jaw. The bite of these fangs deals thaumaturgic death in spirit, rather than in alchemic substance or alchemic energy.


One, or any number of the teeth being needle thin, and may be twice as long (but no longer), or remain the same length. The root of the teeth changes, but does not become thin, only the body of the tooth - most of what protrudes from the gum - becomes thin. Needle teeth are mainly used as sensors, but can sometimes be used to inject or draw out alchemic fluids. It can shift.

An extension of the tooth or teeth that is needle thin, extending from the end of the tooth. Never grows longer than the the same length as the tooth from which is grows. It may be darker than the tooth. It is used to inject or draw alchemic fluids. It can shift.


What do you think?
What parts stand out to you? Does it give you any ideas? Do you have a question about some part? Does any of it remind you of something?

Please critique!

Well, the writing style reminds me of Leviticus when God is giving instruction on how to recognize leprosy.

Is there background to these creatures that I'm missing? I don't understand what they are, or why they have or need these specific mutations. How does the alchemy functions that it needs fluids and organs in association with its processes?

Thank you for commenting Lady Kitra!

Cool! That is interesting.


I have developed more background for some of them. There is no telling how many people there are of each kind of refiguration, but I think the ones that live underwater are the most numerous. Their refigurations are of the few that are had from birth. Other refigurations are usually developed through processes I have not yet found out much about.

The purposes of the refigurations are often spiritual I believe. They are never practical in the ordinary sense. Though you could say that being able to live underwater is "practical."

Water, salt, and breath are all significant in Iniel's alchemy, so you can imagine the significance of living submerged in an ocean of salt water with the ability to temporarily or permanently seal your breath in your body.

The more dire uses of alchemy and its refigurations are in curing, protecting against, and exorcising evil alchemy, on the idea that supernatural evils require supernatural solutions.


I need to write another post about the different forms of alchemic substances and energies, and their different uses.

I think all alchemic substances can be entirely changed into alchemic energy by various alchemic organs, and other alchemic organs can convert alchemic energy into heat, light, electricity, magnetism, motion, and even thought. It can, I believe, also be an intercessor between the physical and spiritual, like the human nervous system.
Alchemic energy in its unconverted form is undetectable except by alchemic senses.

Those are some examples of refiguration background and usage, there is always more I am discovering.

Some things I am trying to find out more about are how angels and fallen angels stand in the picture, the origins of the different refigurations, and how they are developed.

Are the aquatic refigurations from birth out of survival necessity as far as world-building planning went, or is there a reason more specific to the cobha of the world?

I have three, general theories, which are no doubt all true, for different undersea populations in different regions and planets.

The refiguration could have been developed as a "Noah's ark" type of solution to a "Noah's flood" type of situation.
Or it could have been developed to counteract a powerful, generational curse.
Or it could have been developed by an extremely devout alchemist, or an extremist, or a savant, for himself and his family or friends, in order to pursue a "monastic" kind of separation.

Those that breath by gills cannot have children with those that have no gills, either because the marriage is fruitless, or because their children die in the womb or in infancy.

Those that breath intermittently can have children freely with those that do not have this refiguration. They also can live in closer contact with other people, often living on both land and sea. But with much intermarriage the refiguration dies out.

Thus, those with gills are numerous and ancient more often than those with intermittent breathing.

Also to develop gill systems is far more difficult than intermittent breathing, so the vast populations of the gill-bearers are descended from only a few original families, while the undersea populations without gills are vastly more likely to have many distinct origins.

I hope my long answers to your short questions are clear enough to be helpful!

Is it possible for gillers to be refigured for intermittent breathing, or for land life?

There are those with both lungs and gills, like the lungfish. They are the rarest sort.
They can have children with those having only gills, but even if they strictly marry among themselves I believe their refiguration gradually degrades, mutating until it is no use at all.



Here are some images of gill holes like the ones I described.
The moray eel has one, large pair of holes:
http://news.scubafish.com/files/2013/04/Giant-Moray-Eels-Gymnothorax-gavanicus-White-Balance-Shot-680x510.jpg
The lamprey has seven pairs:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mRT4hBCux2o/U4ZLrO3TTNI/AAAAAAAALrQ/tCEj8EhZKGI/s1600/Pacific-lamprey-An-Introspective-World.jpg
https://murreyandblue.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/lamprey-mouth.jpg
A hagfish has twelve pairs:
http://blog.aquarium.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/pacifichagfish2.jpg
A close-up of a lamprey's gills:
http://fishbio.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Lamprey-Gills.jpg

And for good measure, a man with a lamprey mouth instead of an eye:
http://i.imgur.com/sNVMY.jpg
It would be quite a refiguration; but it does not exist in Iniel.

On an unrelated topic, I wonder if one can turn a lamprey into a flute...

Are there applications for an agnatha mouth in refigurations?

It would probably have poor resonance... maybe a fossilized lamprey.


Absolutely, though probably never in humans.

The first thing that comes to mind would be animals (mainly birds or small mammals I think) that would have an agnatha mouth in their chest, leading directly to their heart.

If you take all the variations among humans, like hair color, skin color, or build, and compare them to the variations among animals, that would somewhat correspond to how many more refigurations there are among animals than there are among humans.
I have not even begun to try listing them. But I may sometime. Begin to try.

A lot of the human refigurations are also among animals (which is ironic when I talk of "bestial" refigurations occurring among... beasts). One whole category that does not cross over is the hand refigurations. Only certain refigured monkeys and apes have some of these.

Plants have refigurations too...

Is a platypus a refiguration, or just weird?

I bet platypus are important to alchemy somewhere...

Nope, platypuses are just weird. They can have refigurations though, since any animal can.
Every plant and animal is significant to alchemy, though I have not developed that so much yet.

Actually, this refiguration from this thread is actually inspired by the platypus's spur:
http://www.holyworlds.org/fantasy/viewtopic.php?f=108&t=9352&view=unread#unread



Some thaumaturgy allows you to use electrolocation like the platypus, and infrared sight, echolocation, and other senses, but it is rare.

Are refigurations always based on something naturally occurring? To clarify, can they be functionally created without some sort of inspiration in nature, simply the object of the imagination?

No doubt you could find a parallel to anything in nature. But no: for example, blades and sharp wires that appear out of energy fields do not occur in the Familiarworld, at least so far as I know (stranger things have been found).

I would have said that lack of eyes is not naturally occurring until I remembered that many underground animals lack eyes. But I doubt many creatures lack both nose and mouth.

So it's not as though the refiguration is somehow woven up from nature anymore than knives an airplanes were.

Well... the refigurations do not always consist of things that can be found elsewhere in nature, but sometimes they are: like the agnatha mouth you were talking about.

They are not made like knives or wires are made. But they are not developed using "natural" forces like electricity or unexplained "energy" from full moons and such. But they do make use of basic principles of existence in Iniel.

Every supernatural working directly or indirectly draws on the Name of God, which is accessible in this way because concepts have equal existence to substances in Iniel. This is also why it is hard to say whether this force should be called spiritual or physical; it is probably both.

Oh no, I didn't mean as far as physical construction is concerned. *thinks* More so asking if things were made in the image of nature or through some sort of connection to nature... as opposed to having inspiration, but using original ideas (like airplanes being based on the understanding of physics and bird wings, but not made to be a bird). I think that's clarified though.